Its been a while

It’s been a couple of weeks since i last fed, maybe a little longer. Before this, in my last blog, it was a few years. These two weeks have reminded me why i feed and why i need what i do. Sleep seems to be sporadic and spaced out.  My headaches become worse and more frequent, not to mention my eating issue. It doesn’t help i already see eating food a waste of time for me, but there are days i wont eat and some i can’t stop eating. Granted, its not healthy and i know this. I do force myself to eat or stop eating to a point. Iv been on top of this but what is really making it all worse is the heat.  I am in the east coast and right now (as of this post) its 94 outside, and with my job i work nights for 14 hours. 5pm to 7am for 6 days a week. I feel the heat is making it worse for me more than anything.

 

At first it seemed easy to shrug it off and ignore it but as time goes on it seems to be harder and harder. Normally when i am fed i can ignore it and not care as my body gets used to the heat and the humidity. (which right now is 80%) This with not feeding has shown why me or anyone else could need it on a more daily to weekly basis. Once i learn Venipuncture it will be easier to feed daily rather then weekly, biweekly or monthly. I always make sure my donor is willing, most of the time she tells me to feed even if i say no so it seems reversed to me.  But with the move and my social anxiety spiking it seems hard. I do wish to find one more to help curb the load on her and my need and hope she understands. Who know? maybe someone will come along and offer.

 

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When its Against You

Today was supposed to be the day, the day i was able to taste the sweet crimson eliquor that keeps me going. It was last night that I was walking with my partner to get ready to get what I needed. The next day I get home to relax after working and a couple hours later I get inside the car but it wouldn’t start, not to mention as I look at my other vehicle the tire was flat. At this point I question if today was the right day to do this but then a thought came to mind. I should of been prepared at the start.  Its been a while since I have fed and I guess the excitement got to me. In my last blog post it has been a while since I did feed.  This was a reminder to always be prepared ahead of time and to never rush something like this again.

Realizing the Need

Hello and welcome to the first post on this blog, I am Codec, a person that is dependent on the need for blood. You may ask yourself “What do you mean?” Well, when i was young (15 years ago; 27 at writing this) I was starting to become weak, auto-immunity, migraines, low blood pressure, etc. The doctors had no idea what was going on with me at the time, all tests came back fine, nothing to them seemed wrong but they could tell something was.  I went threw this for 3-4 years of trial and error and nothing seemed to help, i was sick every couple of months, always tired with no idea what to do. I went a head and started to look things up on my own. The doctors already tried everything they could so i went to the internet to see what i could find. At the time the internet was still in its growth stage, dial up rained supreme and the phone lines where tired up, that kind of internet. I ran across a group of people on a few websites and forums that seemed to be onto something.

 

As i got to know some people and understand more about this new idea i stumbled a pone, Psi feeding, the act of taking energy from other beings, creatures or plants. I figured it couldn’t hurt so i tried it, and tried it, and tried it. It didn’t seem to get me anywhere at all, even worse it made my condition of what ever I had worse so i brought up the idea of blood to them. It was like I came a kitten to a foot, the idea was instantly denied to them. The idea of taking blood seemed to be a taboo of some kind and i was left asking myself why? What the difference in blood and psi? Yes psi is safer and much more available and blood has a very high risk factor depending on the person but i shrugged it off and kept at it.  Still after all the times of trying and doing, it wasn’t working at all and i was in the hospital yet again.  After this point i didn’t give a rats butt about what they thought or wanted, this was my life at risk and i wanted it to end.  It wasn’t long till after going to other websites and forums a ad i had posted was answered.

 

Her name was B, she was local where I lived and wanted to help me out, she was also a hybrid so she knew about being a sang and psi. After some time of getting to know each other we finally met up and a couple months after that she allowed me to feed from her. It was this moment I felt like I was new again, I felt like I was reborn once more into a new person and after a few more times the auto-immunity, the tiredness, weakness, all of it was gone. The doctors had no idea what was going on, they just left it as a mystery even after i told them what I did as consuming blood has no real medical back up as of now.  So i went on for a little while longer till she moved and I found two other wonderful people to help me out.

 

So, i hope this explains the “What do you mean” question you asked yourself. This is my understanding of my condition, others may call me a vampire or a leech but I like to think i’m just me and this is something ill have to live with for the rest of my life. Do i consider it a curse? No, not at all, in a way it forces me to talk to people, to get to know them, or else I wouldn’t even leave the house outside of work. It makes me get out of my normal habits and explore my city or travel somewhere new.

 

Tell next time, Safe feeding.