Its been a while

It’s been a couple of weeks since i last fed, maybe a little longer. Before this, in my last blog, it was a few years. These two weeks have reminded me why i feed and why i need what i do. Sleep seems to be sporadic and spaced out.  My headaches become worse and more frequent, not to mention my eating issue. It doesn’t help i already see eating food a waste of time for me, but there are days i wont eat and some i can’t stop eating. Granted, its not healthy and i know this. I do force myself to eat or stop eating to a point. Iv been on top of this but what is really making it all worse is the heat.  I am in the east coast and right now (as of this post) its 94 outside, and with my job i work nights for 14 hours. 5pm to 7am for 6 days a week. I feel the heat is making it worse for me more than anything.

 

At first it seemed easy to shrug it off and ignore it but as time goes on it seems to be harder and harder. Normally when i am fed i can ignore it and not care as my body gets used to the heat and the humidity. (which right now is 80%) This with not feeding has shown why me or anyone else could need it on a more daily to weekly basis. Once i learn Venipuncture it will be easier to feed daily rather then weekly, biweekly or monthly. I always make sure my donor is willing, most of the time she tells me to feed even if i say no so it seems reversed to me.  But with the move and my social anxiety spiking it seems hard. I do wish to find one more to help curb the load on her and my need and hope she understands. Who know? maybe someone will come along and offer.

 

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When its Against You

Today was supposed to be the day, the day i was able to taste the sweet crimson eliquor that keeps me going. It was last night that I was walking with my partner to get ready to get what I needed. The next day I get home to relax after working and a couple hours later I get inside the car but it wouldn’t start, not to mention as I look at my other vehicle the tire was flat. At this point I question if today was the right day to do this but then a thought came to mind. I should of been prepared at the start.  Its been a while since I have fed and I guess the excitement got to me. In my last blog post it has been a while since I did feed.  This was a reminder to always be prepared ahead of time and to never rush something like this again.